It's been awhile between posts again but I've been busy with work and the baby. It helps time pass but it sucks working my butt off for a little bit of money. Oh well, it's better than nothing I suppose. I go this week to try and get on WIC which should hopefully alleviate some of the costs I've accrued with raising a new baby. I've also been looking into Food Stamps. I know I'll do what I have to in order to make ends meet.
The other day I was feeling pretty down. Still no word on my husband's record of trial and the not knowing is driving me crazy. My husband told me something very true though. The worst day was the day he got convicted. Every day after that is one step closer. Whether he's out in 2 years, 6 years, or at the very worst 8, every day is a step closer to him being home again. We just have to take it one day at a time. Since he told me that I have been repeating it to myself and honestly, it does help. In the meant time he did get his detail changed. Finally. After 3 phone calls. He seems more upbeat now that he doesn't have such a physically demanding job and works shorter hours. It's also nice to know that Colonel Keller took my concerns seriously and decided to help my husband out. Whether they believe they're guilty or not these men are still people. I also heard back from congress which, as I suspected, yielded little results. The Army told them that my husband received due process of the law and can file his grievances with an appeal. What they don't get is that he shouldn't be in there at ALL. So him sitting there waiting for an appeal is years he'll be missing from his life. Sometimes the process is so slow and cumbersome I could scream. But, one day at a time. Like he said; we can only go up from here.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
It's Been Awhile
I haven't written in awhile but I've had a lot going on. I finished my bartending course and passed so I am now a certified bartender! Woo! It was tough...there were a lot of drinks to memorize. I also got a job at O Charley's. I'll be serving but they know my interest in bartending so hopefully I can train to do that as well. Blair has been growing by leaps and bounds. He now weighs 13lbs and 12 oz and is 24 inches long. He's also started smiling and cooing! It is amazing to watch him grow. I wish my husband was here to see it as well. We're still working on getting him to be allowed to visit. They're being so slow about giving us an answer of course. Ugh.
In better news, since they are taking so long on getting my husband's Record of Trial back he may get some time off his sentence. Your right to a fair and speedy trial extends to after the trial so if they take longer than 120 days to get his ROT back it is past the amount of time that is considered reasonable. My husband says this could grant him 1-3 years off his sentence. It would be a small victory but a victory none the less. I'm really pinning my hopes on the appeal because I have great confidence in the civilian lawyer I hired. He has already gotten a couple cases overturned while my husband has been incarcerated. It's difficult being out here and having to pretend that my life is normal but I'm taking it day by day. I hope and pray that this is over quickly but I also know I have to batten down for the long haul. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. This is my motto now. I can only have hope and faith that this is seen through to the end. That's all any of us can do.
In better news, since they are taking so long on getting my husband's Record of Trial back he may get some time off his sentence. Your right to a fair and speedy trial extends to after the trial so if they take longer than 120 days to get his ROT back it is past the amount of time that is considered reasonable. My husband says this could grant him 1-3 years off his sentence. It would be a small victory but a victory none the less. I'm really pinning my hopes on the appeal because I have great confidence in the civilian lawyer I hired. He has already gotten a couple cases overturned while my husband has been incarcerated. It's difficult being out here and having to pretend that my life is normal but I'm taking it day by day. I hope and pray that this is over quickly but I also know I have to batten down for the long haul. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. This is my motto now. I can only have hope and faith that this is seen through to the end. That's all any of us can do.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
No News is Bad News
These last couple days haven't been the best mostly because my husband ran out of money on his phone account. The silence sucks. It's hard going from talking to him everyday, whenever I wanted to a couple minute phone calls. Sometimes it doesn't feel real; like our relationship was something I made up in my head. Then I look through our pictures and read something he wrote and I know it was real. I can't help but wonder what our life would be like right now if he hadn't been convicted. I know it doesn't really help the current situation but I can't help myself. Especially at night when I'm running on only a little bit of sleep and I wish he was here to help with the baby. I love my son to death but it does get exhausting to be doing this on my own. My mom helps me out in the evening but I wish more than anything my husband could meet his son. Just to be able to hold him.
I did file what they call a "congressional complaint". I wrote to the state rep in North Carolina and asked them to investigate my husband's case and trial. They asked for information which is more than I got from them last time. We'll see if anything comes of it. I doubt anything will but I have to try. My husband did say one guy he was in with had his case overturned because of a congressional complaint. Now he's just waiting on his release papers. God, I wish more than anything that would happen for us. That somehow I could get him out NOW. The waiting and wondering is the most difficult. Sitting around waiting for the record of trial to come back and wondering if clemency or an appeal will help us sometimes drives me crazy. I try not to get too hopeful but I can't help but pray for a happy ending for us. We need this to get overturned for the good of our future. My son is growing up so fast and I just can't stand for my husband to miss anymore than he already has. I hate being at the mercy of this system. Please pray for us to whomever you want.
I did file what they call a "congressional complaint". I wrote to the state rep in North Carolina and asked them to investigate my husband's case and trial. They asked for information which is more than I got from them last time. We'll see if anything comes of it. I doubt anything will but I have to try. My husband did say one guy he was in with had his case overturned because of a congressional complaint. Now he's just waiting on his release papers. God, I wish more than anything that would happen for us. That somehow I could get him out NOW. The waiting and wondering is the most difficult. Sitting around waiting for the record of trial to come back and wondering if clemency or an appeal will help us sometimes drives me crazy. I try not to get too hopeful but I can't help but pray for a happy ending for us. We need this to get overturned for the good of our future. My son is growing up so fast and I just can't stand for my husband to miss anymore than he already has. I hate being at the mercy of this system. Please pray for us to whomever you want.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Somehow, I Keep Going
It was amazing to see my husband after so long apart. Although we had to be in a visitation room surrounded by a bunch of other people we were talking and joking like old times. There were some small children in there visiting other inmates and I could tell it bothered my husband. He begged me to find a way to bring our son next time. It hurt my heart to leave my husband behind but I was grateful to get back to my son. For some reason he was sleeping 6 hours for my mom...I got 4 last night! Not fair!
I contacted Mr Holland at the USDB and asked what I had to do in order to bring my son to visit. He instructed me to write a letter asking for full contact between my husband and my son. He said he would pass it up and they would review it and decide if my husband could have contact. Of course it's rarely granted unless the prisoner is in treatment but it's a 2-3 year wait list AND you have to pass a lie detector test to enroll. My husband wouldn't be able to pass one since he's innocent and even if they did enroll him...2-3 years! I was adamant about my husband not being a threat and that all contact between him and my son would be monitored. I also included information about the importance of father-son bonding. Hopefully they have a heart (doubtful) and grant us visitation or at least the ability to talk on the phone. Yes, my husband has to get permission to talk to our nearly-2-month-old on the phone...who can't even talk yet! I hate this system. It's so stupid and backwards and drives me nuts. Mr Holland also said that it wasn't a fast process and could take months to get a response. Joy. What else can I expect from the military?
In better news I'm getting more letters for my husband's clemency packet. My friends have really come through and their care and concern is so touching and means so much. I am pretty disappointed with some of my husband's friends. Some of them just outright ignored my request that they write a letter. Oh, I'm sorry if I'm inconveniencing you but this is my life. It takes what, an hour maybe, to write a decent letter? I'm making notes on those useless people and I hope, when this is all over, I can tell them exactly what I think of them. I'm going to a new moms group meeting tomorrow so maybe I'll meet some new people. The only downfall is deciding what to tell people when they ask where my husband is. I tell most people he's at Ft Leavenworth and let them draw their own assumptions.
I contacted Mr Holland at the USDB and asked what I had to do in order to bring my son to visit. He instructed me to write a letter asking for full contact between my husband and my son. He said he would pass it up and they would review it and decide if my husband could have contact. Of course it's rarely granted unless the prisoner is in treatment but it's a 2-3 year wait list AND you have to pass a lie detector test to enroll. My husband wouldn't be able to pass one since he's innocent and even if they did enroll him...2-3 years! I was adamant about my husband not being a threat and that all contact between him and my son would be monitored. I also included information about the importance of father-son bonding. Hopefully they have a heart (doubtful) and grant us visitation or at least the ability to talk on the phone. Yes, my husband has to get permission to talk to our nearly-2-month-old on the phone...who can't even talk yet! I hate this system. It's so stupid and backwards and drives me nuts. Mr Holland also said that it wasn't a fast process and could take months to get a response. Joy. What else can I expect from the military?
In better news I'm getting more letters for my husband's clemency packet. My friends have really come through and their care and concern is so touching and means so much. I am pretty disappointed with some of my husband's friends. Some of them just outright ignored my request that they write a letter. Oh, I'm sorry if I'm inconveniencing you but this is my life. It takes what, an hour maybe, to write a decent letter? I'm making notes on those useless people and I hope, when this is all over, I can tell them exactly what I think of them. I'm going to a new moms group meeting tomorrow so maybe I'll meet some new people. The only downfall is deciding what to tell people when they ask where my husband is. I tell most people he's at Ft Leavenworth and let them draw their own assumptions.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Tomorrow is the Day
Happy Valentine's Day! I get to visit my husband tomorrow so I'm pretty excited :) I will actually get to hug and kiss him as opposed to just talking to him briefly on the phone. I'll also be able to visit with him for hours as opposed to 20 minutes behind some glass. While this isn't the ideal situation (I'd rather have him home with me and my son) I will take what I can get. He ran out of money on his phone account so I haven't heard from him since Tuesday. This makes me even more anxious to see him. It's difficult since we would talk all day every day and now we only get a couple minutes on the phone and some letters. I miss him so much everyday but I hope this visit will do us both some good.
Ricki Lake's show today was about being wrongfully convicted. Needless to say it hit home. It happens all the time to many different people. It's pretty scary actually. I wish I could get my husband's story out there so that someone would care. I'm still trying to do all I can but many people don't want to touch military cases.
I hope everyone had a good holiday and be thankful for having your valentine home with you.
Ricki Lake's show today was about being wrongfully convicted. Needless to say it hit home. It happens all the time to many different people. It's pretty scary actually. I wish I could get my husband's story out there so that someone would care. I'm still trying to do all I can but many people don't want to touch military cases.
I hope everyone had a good holiday and be thankful for having your valentine home with you.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day is fast approaching and I miss my husband more than ever. Getting through the holidays without him was tough enough but now to face a specific holiday dedicated to love is even harder. The advertisements on TV are nonstop and I find myself angry at how unfair life can be sometimes. The one thing I am looking forward to is flying out to visit him Friday. It will be difficult though because I'll have to leave my son with my mom. But I'll finally get to see my husband after almost 3 months of him being gone. I'll get to hug and kiss him, albeit briefly, something I haven't done since Dec 1st. I'm looking forward to my trip but at the same time I'm dreading it because I know it will go way too fast. I'll fly out Friday and then come back Monday. During the week I'll get 3 hours with him and during the weekend I'll have two 3 hour visitations. He's looking forward to it as much as I am but I find myself trying to plan the next time I'll get to see him and if I'll be able to bring Blair. I want him so much to meet his son but policy may prevent that. I am ready to do what I have to in order to fight for my family though. I just wish so badly I could bring him home with me and everything would be OK. The waiting and wondering is the worst part.
I used to believe in the justice system and thought people who claimed innocence once convicted were definitely lying. My perspective has changed completely and even for those who are guilty I don't judge them anymore. Military Justice has no standard, like I said in my previous post, the punishments often don't fit the crime and panel members seem less interested in fairness than conviction rates. If my husband was convicted and put away for 8 years with no evidence how many others has this happened to? Something has to change if we want to ensure that justice is served. The zeal with which the military convicts its own is appalling and somewhat terrifying. What is to stop someone from just trying to ruin a soldier's life out of spite? It happened to my husband and although we are fighting it tooth and nail there is no guarantee that he will walk free without a felony hanging over his head the rest of his life. Knowing these facts is pretty disheartening sometimes but I can't give up. Not only is my husband relying on me but so is my son. He deserves his family and a happy future. We all do.
I used to believe in the justice system and thought people who claimed innocence once convicted were definitely lying. My perspective has changed completely and even for those who are guilty I don't judge them anymore. Military Justice has no standard, like I said in my previous post, the punishments often don't fit the crime and panel members seem less interested in fairness than conviction rates. If my husband was convicted and put away for 8 years with no evidence how many others has this happened to? Something has to change if we want to ensure that justice is served. The zeal with which the military convicts its own is appalling and somewhat terrifying. What is to stop someone from just trying to ruin a soldier's life out of spite? It happened to my husband and although we are fighting it tooth and nail there is no guarantee that he will walk free without a felony hanging over his head the rest of his life. Knowing these facts is pretty disheartening sometimes but I can't give up. Not only is my husband relying on me but so is my son. He deserves his family and a happy future. We all do.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Such A Big Boy!
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